the best part about this is that he named his mum “birthgiver`’
I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”
Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”
id listen to you guys.
Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”
Oh my god
I’m already a fan. I want merch.
when a tumblr famous person says they’re upset everyone goes all “aw what happened” and they get like 100 nice messages
when i say im upset people just kind of
Whiney bitch alert
thank you for alerting us of your arrival
I was walking out of a classroom with my teacher once and i was singing very quietly to my self, “if there’s somethin strange… in the neighborhood.” and when i got to the next line i heard her very quietly to herself “who you gonna call?” and then we both yelled, “GHOST BUSTERS.” and it was a beautiful moment
christmas is only one sleep away if you do it right
one time in freshman year my biology teacher was teaching us about chromosomal disorders and apparently some women can have three X chromosomes and she went to go look up some pictures of what some women afflicted with this condition look like. unfortunately my teacher typed in “XXX females” and that worked about just as well as you’d expect
in class i’m used to sitting in the back and making all these smartass comments under my breath
now i’m in the front though so when our attractive instructor drops something and says ‘ah, fuck me!’ and i say ‘maybe later’ he hEARS ME AND LAUGHS GODFUCKING FUCK
the saga continues today in physics when our instructor asks ‘and how fast does light travel?’ and i whisper ‘hella’ and the kid next to me fucking loses it
My (male) friend was recently raped and nearly everyone he knew either said it was his fault or he wasn’t actually raped. I can’t convince him that not all people think like this. Please reblog if you know that men can be raped just like women.
maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan the notes on this are sad…
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
im so fucking angry
nO BECAUSE I SAW IT AND IT REALLY ANGERED ME
I SERIOUSLY HAD TO REREAD THIS ABOUT 6 TIMES BEFORE I NOTICED